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For a child, a birthday party can be the big social event of their year. Set up guidelines for them to help you plan. For younger children, give them a set number of people they can invite and a number of games you can play. Don't let them be overwhelmed by all the planning that is involved but do let them be a part of it. As they get older, they can get more involved.
Teenagers can be given a firm budget they can work within. If they want to do an expensive activity, then they can choose to invite fewer friends. If they want a big party, help them plan a fun party at home where the money can be spent on food and decorations rather than admission to a theme park for example. For each child, a birthday has different motivators. Some want games; others want to do an activity like ice skating or swimming. Let them learn how to plan and budget in an age-appropriate way.